Before every kick, Philippians 4:13 is the verse Jay Feely recites as he’s taking his steps back. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” It’s this same verse he relied upon when he got cut from the Miami Dolphins after having the best year of his career, leading the NFL in field goal percentages. The Dolphin’s decision didn’t make sense, so Jay trusted in the only thing that did, his faith in God. His faith has helped him and his family to weather the difficulties of the NFL life. Here is what Jay had to say in Part III of my interview.
Kim Anthony: As important as football is to you, I also know that your wife Rebecca and your four children are even more important. In your NFL career of 11 years, you have played for five different teams. Which means a lot of transitions for you and your family. How has your faith been helpful, as you’ve experienced the various moves?
Jay Feely: It’s probably easier for me than it is for my wife and my kids. We’ve had to uproot our kids and put them in a new school and get a new home. There have been some times in my career where I have had to be away and play for the New York Jets, for instance, for a year and my family’s back in Florida. So there are times when you’re away. Especially, there is the pressure on my wife, where she has to be Mom and Dad. She’s trying to do everything for four kids; taking care of them, getting them to sports and to school without me being there. And that’s the negative. That’s something a lot of people don’t see. They see that you get paid a lot of money, you get to be on TV and you get to be a celebrity. There’s pressure that goes along with that, which is tough to deal with and there are also pressures at home. I think that anybody who travels a lot or has to move a lot with their job deals with those pressures. They’re difficult.
(It helps) when you have a wife that’s grounded in her faith and she’s not worried about the selfish desires that somebody else may have. Obviously, all of us have dreams and goals, but when she can say, “God you have a plan for me right now, and that plan is to be at home and be the best mother I can be for my kids,” knowing that at some point she’s going to have the opportunity to go after her own dreams and goals, gives her the ability to have peace. Obviously she struggles with that. Everybody does. But I think because she has a faith, she’s able to trust in God in those circumstances just like I do when the pressure of my job is pushing in on me.
KA: As you move from city to city, is it important for you to get that Christian community, whether it is with other players or a local church?
JF: Yes and it’s changed Kim, because I’ve been blessed enough to stay in the NFL for a while now. I’m in my mid-thirties and I have four kids, whereas when I started, I didn’t have any kids and we were young newlyweds. Life changes. And when you have guys who are 20 and 21 years old coming into the NFL and you’re in your mid-thirties and you have four kids, you’re in such a different phase of your life. So finding a church and being able to plug our kids into a good youth group is a stabilizing force for us. That allows us to have something that pours into our lives and helps give us a foundation wherever we are.
Obviously, having a team Bible study and a couples’ study, which a lot of teams have and you and your husband ran when we were with the Dolphins together, is something that helps you deal with all the pressures and helps you deal with trying to be a man of God and trying to be a woman of God.
KA: I know that being traded or being released from a team can be disappointing. Has there ever been something in your life that you would consider to be the greatest disappointment you’ve had to face? And how has God helped you to overcome that disappointment?
JF: That’s a deep question. (Laughter) Some of your greatest disappointments turn out to be blessings in disguise, when you see how God can work through those disappointments. When I talked about that day when I missed those field goals in Seattle; that would be my greatest disappointment from a professional standpoint. It was a big game for our team and I didn’t come through in a great way…and Saturday Night Live Lampooned me. But when I look back, I’m so grateful for that day.
When you go through something like that, your career is hanging in the balance and you know that if you have another bad game or another miss, you’re probably going to get cut and no one will hire you again. Kicking is such a finicky job. You can do it for a long time, but if you start to miss a couple of game winners, they can release you very quickly and no one wants to pick you up again. So when I went through that Seattle game I knew all those things were happening and I knew my career was hanging in the balance, but to come through it and not allow it to destroy me, actually made me a lot better as a kicker. It increased my faith as well. Now, I know I can go through some of the worse circumstances professionally and not allow it to destroy me.
My career from that point forward, the next five years, were instrumentally better than the first five years. It’s dramatically different. I think it’s the direct result of going through that difficulty, not allowing it to destroy me, and trusting in God. I remember getting in the car on Monday after that game, not wanting to turn on the radio at all because I didn’t want to hear anybody talking about it. I grabbed a CD I hadn’t played yet. It was a Jeremy Camp CD and I just threw it in there. One of the first lines was, “When I can’t see you, I know you’re there. When I can’t hear you, I will not fear. I will trust in you and I will not be afraid.” I was just like, “Thank you, God!” That was exactly what I needed to hear. I won’t be afraid and I will trust in you. That was the kind of attitude I had that week and the kind of attitude I take into my whole life.
KA: Wow, that’s really inspirational Jay! I’m sure other guys go through difficult circumstances similar to what happened to you, but they don’t always come out of it successfully. They may not have that strength of faith to keep them moving forward and they allow their failures to defeat them. So it’s very encouraging to hear how you were able to come out of that horrible day and into a more successful future.
What’s Next for Jay?
Ironically, Feely’s football season with the Cardinals ended on January 1, 2012, with his game winning kick over the Seattle Seahawks…and yes, it was in overtime! But, as spectacular as his football season ended, the beginning of his 2012 political season is just as impressive. Feely has been invited to speak at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference (http://www.srlccharleston2012.com/) surrounding the South Carolina GOP Primary. Instead of his brawny teammates, Feely will be in the company of presidential candidates, as CNN and the SRLC host the GOP presidential debate. The conference is scheduled to take place from January 18-21, the Primary being held on the evening of the final day. To follow Jay Feely on Twitter, go to http://twitter.com/jayfeely.
What about You?
Is there a particular pro athlete you’d like me to interview about his faith or a specific question you would like me to include? How has this story impacted you? To submit your suggestions and comments, you can contact me through www.KimAnthony.net. I’d love to hear from you!
You can also connect with me on www.linkedin.com/pub/kim-anthony/12/184/a9a, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Unfavorable-Odds/128949664169, or follow me at http://twitter.com/UnfavorableOdds.
See Part One of our story here, and Part Two here.
