Reaching Closure

When I started writing for Pro Player Insiders a few months ago, I was still mad at how some things went during my NFL career. I haven’t really watched many games since the 2005 Super Bowl.  I was with the Patriots at that time but wasn’t allowed to play in the big game because I had been suspended.  Every game I watched after that reminded me of what could’ve been. To make things worse, the Patriots kept winning and even went back to the Super Bowl. In Super Bowl XLII, when they lost to the Giants I joked around and said it was the curse of P.K. Sam.  Up until a week ago, I was still telling people that the Pats were cursed because of my suspension.  Even though I know I can’t put a curse on them, it sadly felt good and was actually funny to me.

A while back I was listening to the radio show and one of the guests said,  “until you wish success for people, you yourself will never receive it.”  That message hit home and immediately made me think of football. So I decided to write a letter to coach Belichick apologizing for what I did.

I still said I felt like what happen wasn’t all my fault, but what was my fault was how I reacted to it.  I closed out the letter by saying that I hope one day I’ll be able to apologize in person and shake his hand.  A buddy of mine on the team called me and said that he received the letter and appreciated me reaching out to him.

Fast forward a few months later and I found myself with a media pass to the 2012 Super Bowl, thanks to a very nice lady and ProPlayerInsiders.com.  So there I am, FINALLY at a Super Bowl and watching Belichick answer questions on the podium.

I though about asking a question, but suddenly I got so nervous I was afraid that I would mess up and sound stupid.  Just as my heart was trying to bust out of my chest, I made my move.  Coach Belichick answered his final question and was headed in my direction with some of the Patriots P.R. people.  I slipped through the few reporters behind me and said, “COACH!”  I tried to say it in a strong but non-psycho kind of way… LOL.

I got his attention and proceeded to thank him for suspending me and having “tough love” because it made me a better man.  He actually smiled and thanked me for the letter.  It was instant gratification!!  I had reached CLOSURE!

So now for the first time in 7 years I was able to enjoy watching the Patriots play without having hatred in my heart.  Even though they didn’t win, I guess you can say the curse is lifted, at least from my perspective.