I accepted Christ at 12 years old. Like so many of us, the world’s allure would take its toll and I would slowly drift away. It wasn’t until I found myself pregnant at 19 that I decided to run back into the arms of His safety. I honestly never looked back. I picked up my cross with little understanding of what it meant to truly know him in His suffering. We could never fully understand the gravity of His sacrifice or the pain He endured from the nails of our sin. But life surely has its cross-like tendencies. A year and a half later, I found myself burying my second daughter. I can remember that her little casket was the size of a man’s shoebox. It was ivory with a dove carved into the top. The dove seemed to be an oxymoron, as I didn’t understand how the God of peace could have allowed this to happen to me. As I struggled to cope with the grief that awaited me in the days ahead, I came to the realization that I was suffering. I had a decision to make. I could either walk around sulking and continue to be engulfed in my grief or I could choose to get to know a God that not only understood, but could empathize with my suffering. A God who knew better than anyone what it was like to lose a child who had done nothing to deserve death. Even in the depths of the most unbearable pain, we have a choice. I chose to accept my reality and move forward. To carry my cross once again, understanding that there is a purpose in all the pain and suffering we endure. Especially, when we don’t deserve it. Today reminds me of the promise that awaits all who believe in Him. I daydream about what it will be like to see Autumn Lynn again. Free of the pain & suffering she endured, standing beside our savior whose pain & suffering makes it possible for us to be reunited. The hope of that day makes all of my suffering worth it and today, a Good Friday indeed.
“I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!” Philippians 3:10-11
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