Welcome to the NFL, Rookie

NFL training camps will host some anxious, paranoid rookies.  If at any point their career is uncertain during their first training camp, NFL rookies can expect at least one certainty; they’re going to be hazed.  It has been a part of the NFL’s fraternity based, brotherhood culture for a while now.  Rookies come into training camp hailing as the big man on a college campus, and NFL veterans aim to bring them back down to earth through a number of different publicly humiliating acts.  Some hazing rituals prove to be more clever while others are simply more embarrassing than others.

Tim Tebow’s rookie hazing, 2010

While critics of hazing can say it is unprofessional and childish, it can build team camaraderie and strong bonds between rookie teammates.  Some veterans even consider hazing to be a right of passage.  Rookies who might not make the final roster cut of an NFL team might make headlines for having their eyebrows shaved off.  Hazing is also a constant form of entertainment for the veterans, while it can be a reminder of the rookies’ place.   For these reasons, I have compiled a list of the top 5 NFL rookie hazings of 2013.  So, grab a razor, some tape and a jug of ice cold gatorade and sleep with one eye open in case you’re next.

 

5. Kyle Juszczyk, Baltimore Ravens

Think of the highest number of chicken nuggets you have ever purchased at one time from a fast food restaurant.  Got it?  OK, now multiply it by 20.  The Ravens rookie fullback was forced to pay the $99 tab at a Maryland Chick-fil-A to cover the veterans 200 chicken nugget order.  Check the receipt:

receipt
Kyle Juszczyk (@JuiceCheck44) August 7, 2013 Twitter

While it would be very embarrassing to order and pay for that many chicken nuggets at once, all in all Juszczyk paid his tab and was able to move on with nothing more than an overwhelming amount of chicken.  There was no permanent reminder of his hazing, and for that, he comes in at number five.

 

4.  Zack Chibane, Buffalo Bills

The rookie offensive lineman of the Bills was recently allowed to shave away his horrific haircut, including the lightning bolt etched in the back of his hair.

All things considered, Chibane could have experienced a far more embarrassing haircut or hazing for that matter.  At least the veterans had enough respect to not shave his glorious 2-month beard.  A baseball cap could hide his hazing, which is why he is listed as number four.

 

miamirookie
Randy Starks (@starks94) July 23, 2013 Twitter

3. Miami Dolphins Rookies

Glad I’m a vet!

A group of rookies for the Miami Dolphins had some pretty ‘off-the-field highlights’ at the start of training camp.  Veterans of the Dolphins grabbed some hair dye, a razor and thankfully took pictures of their work to show the world of their rookies’ ‘highlights.’  Randy Starks was one of the main veteran culprits behind the series of terrible haircuts, as evidenced by his Twitter account.

miamirookie2
Randy Starks (@starks94) July 23, 2013 twitter

These new haircuts will be quite entertaining throughout training camp for the veterans at the expense of the rookies who have to walk around with their hair like that.  For how embarrassing it is, and the volume of rookies who received some hair dye, the Dolphins rank third in their ability to prank and haze their rookies this training camp so far.

 

 

 

tyran
Mathieu Mid-Hazing

2. Tyrann Mathieu, Arizona Cardinals

Tyrann Mathieu is trying to shave away part of his past by distancing himself from his college nickname, the Honey Badger.  This is not all that has been shaved regarding Mathieu.  As you can see, his left eyebrow is gone and his yellow mohawk was soon after buzzed off as well.  “Long story short, couple veterans took advantage of me,” Mathieu told Chris Wesselling of NFL.com.  “Hopefully in the next week, my eyebrow comes back and I can be myself again,” Mathieu said.  Other members of the Cardinals ’13 draft class were seen with terrible haircuts as well.  At least Chibane of the Bills will be able to wear a hat to cover his haircut.  There is no hat for your eyebrows, though.

 

1.  Kip Edwards, Buffalo Bills

As posted through the teams Twitter account @BuffaloBills, rookie defensive back Kip Edwards was taped to one goalpost following a training camp practice.

While there won’t be any physical damage other than having some extra sticky skin, this rookie will never forget being publicly taped to the goal post in front of fans and teammates during his first ever training camp.  Oh, and just in case you missed it in person, the Bills were gracious enough to post the video onto their Twitter and Instagram accounts.  That is no doubt going to leave some pyschological damage.  I bet he will think twice before aimlessly roaming around endzones next time.  For the sheer amount of public humiliation he endured, Edwards sits a top our list.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Subscribe!